By Our Own Bootstraps

My birthday was Friday, but I am celebrating today (Sunday) with family. It is surreal.

Why?

The RCMP recruited me at fifteen years old as a source, cultivated me into becoming an informant and then used me as an agent, directing me into some insane situations over the years - I was an institutional asset. 

At sixty, I look back on it all and contemplate. I think of those I helped take down, and I reflect on the ups and downs, the good, the bad, and the horrific. 

I ask myself now, what is it I am bothered by most?

Dishonesty and betrayal - that is the answer.
I spent my life living a lie and betraying those around me. 

The life I could have had, ya, that bothers me, but we all have regrets.

I ended my time with the RCMP, entering into Canada's Witness Protection Program. Why do I bring that up, and what's with the picture?
It was a final kick by the Mounties. The program is more lies and betrayals. The Witsec program provides individuals with job assistance, mental health support, and family care. But most importantly, TRUTH

They tell you that you will give up your family, not go to your mother's funeral, etc. However, they give you something in exchange - a new life!

In contrast, the RCMP Witness Protection program offers what it offers its own members - lies and betrayal. 

Secure Family Visits - Promised, never saw one.
Secure Calling Cards - Promised, received for 1st year.
Job Assistance - Asked for, not received
Mental Support for Children - Asked for, denied.
Treaty Rights & Status for Grandchildren - Taken and denied.

I found out on Facebook that my mother died. 

Why do I fight so hard for members? 

Unfortunately, I have watched the good ones get crushed by leadership over the years. 

Not crushed by the horrific work they do, not by the bad guys, but crushed by the leaders who should never run anything that requires morals, truth and integrity.

So, 45 years after taking that first bite of the RCMP apple, here I am contemplating my many experiences, and all I can say is this...

Thank you for making me the fighter that I have become today, and shame on you for thinking that lies and betrayal is something to cultivate in anyone!